Arranged mariages and internet dating
Most couple have not even held hands before they are married. Under the kind of social structure that caste has given rise to in India, there are certain restrictions in the limits beyond which the parents, in the case of an arranged marriage, and a man and a woman, in the case of a love marriage, cannot go in choosing a spouse; he/she must invariably marry outside his or her own gotra. Nayar, Encyclopedia of Sexuality, \*/] On the expectations of Indian parents of their teenage children, Sailesh Muki posted Quora.com: “1) "Study hard now so you can enjoy life later" Later: "Work hard now so your children can enjoy life", And the cycle goes on... Because the "new trend" is people like educated girls.To some extent pre-marital sex is tolerated among boys but is not allowed from girls. (Gotra is the name of the ancestral head or father of the family.) A decision to marry is usually marked by an “engagement” where the elders of both the parties announce their intention to conduct the marriage to their family and friends. \*/ [Source: Sailesh Muki, Quora.com, April 18 2013 \*/] After Hindu children reach puberty, the sexes are separated so there is little interaction between teenage girls and boys.Even so arranged marriages have a very high success rate.There are fewer divorces with arranged marriages than with love marriages based on the fact there are relatively low divorce rates in countries with arranged marriages and high divorce rates in countries with love marriages.The most dramatic aspect of this asymmetrical relationship is the giving of dowry.[Source: Library of Congress *] The wedding is regarded as the beginning of a relationship rather than the culmination of one.According to one survey in the 1990s less than nine percent of all newlyweds have had premarital sex and less than a third do it on their wedding night. Although the male may escape social repudiation if such liaisons become known, the female may suffer lasting damage to her own reputation and bring dishonor to her family.
[Source: Library of Congress] The days when arranged marriages involved parents decreeing who would marry whom and then haggling over the dowry are largely gone among the middle class. In much of India, especially in the north, a marriage establishes a structural opposition between the kin groups of the bride and groom--bride-givers and bride-takers.[Source: Library of Congress] A girl’s honor is held in high regard.Wolf whistles can result in a prison sentence for "outraging the modesty of a woman." In the 1990s six people were murdered after a boy reportedly made a lewd remark about a girl at a wedding.The boy was beaten to the death by members of the girls family.Members of the boy's family retaliated by beating to death five members of the girls family.