Christian dating controlling behaviors list

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Psychology Today points out that control is often manifested as a response to serious insecurity, and that the controlling partner makes their lover "responsible" for quelling that insecurity by being reassuring, constantly reiterating or passing "tests" about their faithfulness, and buoying them up by following their ideas and rules.

The insecurity has not come from the relationship itself, though, so no matter how many hoops the partner jumps through, they're never going to solve it.

The concept of full isolation is often achieved very slowly; maybe you're made to feel guilty if you hang out with other people instead of them, or they come up with conflicting plans to pull you away from social events, or it becomes so annoying and agonizing to sort out time away from them that you cave and stay in.

In a normal relationship, there is an understanding that some decisions are definitely the individual responsibilities of either partner.

It's a dominating tactic, even if it seems to come from a place of devotion and charm.

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Do you find that being around them means you constantly get treated as if you're a child, while they always know what's best?

Do they become passive-aggressive or furious when you act in ways they don't approve of?

There is no foundation of trust in a controlling relationship.

The need for control comes from a deep fear of unpredictability and vulnerability, of being hurt.

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