Circular dating dating survice ratings
People who circular date use these opportunities as a chance to build their self-esteem, to have conversations and to practice interacting with others -- rather than constantly thinking about long-term possibilities.The side effect of increased self-esteem, argues Raye, is that you will naturally attract more people.And because way too many women have invested way too much time in men who decided that they didn’t want to get married, CDing is, presumably, a way of protecting oneself.My argument against circular dating has nothing to do with a failure to understand women’s needs, a defense of selfish commitmentphobes, or a personal axe to grind against Rori or her readers.
This is what it felt like to be featured on my friend Rori Raye’s blog last week, in a post entitled “The Circular Dating Argument”.
My argument against circular dating centers around only one simple premise: If you have a boyfriend who is consistent and kind and also wants to be married one day, and you tell him, in a moment of insecurity, that you can’t stand waiting any longer — “it’s been seven months and we’re not engaged, so I’m going to start seeing other men” — you’re essentially taking a dagger to the heart of your relationship.
And if you have a boyfriend who isn’t consistent, isn’t kind, and never wants to be married, there’s no need to “circular date”. No one wants to waste time on a dead-end relationship. And try though I might, I can’t think of too many confident men who feel that their exclusive girlfriend has a right to date other men after 6 months, 12 months or 18 months, merely because she’s insecure that he might not marry her. I tried, in vain, to reiterate my point of view — which is that I’m offering a constructive, not destructive, criticism of circular dating. To figure out, over the course of time, if he wants to spend the next 35 years with you. You might have a strong chemistry and a great feeling about a guy, but lifetime relationships take years to forge, not months.
I won’t go into details but I was told in a number of ways that I was wrong. Au contraire: the right man is a responsible decision-maker.
And a responsible decision-maker doesn’t make the decision to marry a woman until he knows her for a really long time and can see how she handles life situations.