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Even knowing when to tell a prospective boyfriend about herpes is tough.
"It's confusing, because you don't know when the right time is to tell somebody.
I was 23, and in the midst of what a polite person might have called "sowing my wild oats," but which I thought of as "touching as many penises as I could find." I'd finally extricated myself from the messed-up, controlling relationship that I'd spent all of college floundering around in, I'd moved to a new city, and I was finding that my favorite place to learn more about myself was on top of someone else's naked body.
It started with a weird feeling in my vulva (you'll notice that no good story ever begins with the phrase "weird feeling in my vulva").
Once she told men she was dating about herpes, many ran in the opposite direction."One guy, I thought he was Mr. But then when I told him that I had herpes, he said, 'Forget my phone number, forget my address,' and he blocked me from being able to message him on the computer," she says.
Jennifer joined atlantahclub.com, another site for people with herpes.
And they don't have to worry about spreading herpes, since the other members already have it.
Pam says at first, people are very nervous about joining, because it may be the first time they identify themselves as having herpes."People show up for their first support group meeting and sometimes they turn right around at the door because they don't have the courage to come in," said Pam.