I kissed dating goodbye study
“I think it’s made us realize how there’s heartache and there’s pain no matter what pathway you choose in life,” Harris said.
“There’s no path you can choose that can protect you from that.” He now believes that a formulaic, controlled approach to life and faith is harmful, and in a 2018 interview with NPR he said his mistake was to take Biblical views of sex too far.
“I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided,” he writes.
“I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner.” While he still believes sex was meant for marriage, he regrets that his book was so restrictive, and that an over-emphasis on virginity made many people feel like a failure if they didn’t have a pure record.
The 1997 book shunned dating relationships; it taught that physical contact including kissing should be reserved only for marriage; and it portrayed old-fashioned courtship leading towards matrimony – preferably with parental guidance – as the only Godly relationship in which love should grow.
At the time of the book’s publication, Harris was just 21 If you took Harris’s advice to heart, a perfectionist view of purity was in, and casual boyfriend-girlfriend relationships were out.
The book offered a high-road alternative to a culture of serial dating, sexual temptation, broken hearts and promiscuity—but sadly as the years passed it came to light that some churches applied his ideas legalistically, turning it into rules used to control young peoples’ lives.
Those who ended up single for years by swearing off dating, found the book’s advice let them down badly.
Unfortunately, in many cases and churches it went haywire.” and its related resources, as well as two similar followup books, have all been discontinued from publication. About the Author: Clare is a digital journalist for the Broadcast Industry.
“There are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean that dating is somehow wrong or a certain way of dating is the only way to do things.
“So you can kind of, like, back up and say well, because of this, then you should do this, this and this as well. We have God’s word, but then it’s so easy to add all this other stuff to protect people, to control people, to make sure that you don’t get anywhere near that place where you could go off course.
While my message of , what we have most in common is that we both believe in the importance and significance of this on-going conversation about love and dating within the Church.
I’ve been so impressed by his heart and humility displayed through the process of the documentary he’s working on. I’m honored to have him here, sharing his heart and giving you a glimpse of what God is up to! — Debra Fileta ********** When I was 21, I wrote a book offering suggestions to Christians on a more intentional way to approach relationships and romance.