Japanese dating ettiquette
Going back to this friend of mine, he couldn't take it any more and asked the American girl out after she kissed him, but was turned down. K: By staring I sort of meant the gaze someone gives another when they want to kiss them. I actually read that in a book a long time ago, but whenever I'm talking to someone Japanese(in person or on the phone) and they go silent for a long time I often feel nervous. I was once very shocked at being casually grabbed and kissed by a strange guy who I just met. Sometimes in the west, people go out on a date to see if they are interested.
The fact that 2 people can casually kiss was a completely foreign concept to him. In the US people often stare into each others eyes with blank expressions when they want to kiss someone, or are looking for a "connection". Japanese often go out on a date when they already are interested. Good luck to you.^_^ We were alone, one on one at a restaurant. Of course sometimes a guy will want to show off his salary and ability to take care of his girl by insisting to pay all.
I apologize if all this is very disorganized, but I hope you've found something useful. It was a date even though we never touched or hugged or "made out" after. If he does, then fine but at least offer to pay for some cost and let him have the option of turning you down for it.
Again, not all western guy's are 'touchy feely' like that - but a lot of the western girls will think you're not interested if you don't make any moves.
From what I know already the Japanese do not display affection to one-another in public and generally avoid eye-contact when speaking.
Sometimes people need to pause and collect their thoughts- I know when I'm on a date in Japanese I sometimes need a little time to organize what I want to say in my head!
Not sure if this is typically Japanese, or because they were worried that there would be cultural issues and wanted to be totally sure before trying anything. a friend of mine, a japanese guy told me that its kinda weird to have a girl as a bestfriend. My husband and I are closest to each other but we do like to have a same sex buddy to talk to and go places with somtimes. It's not considered very polite to boast about your salary though... ..usually for couples and for in privacy, not public.
And yes, in Japan guys and girls don't really hang out one on one unless it's a date, so an offer to go shopping just the two of you would be a date. hyeelsewhere, its kinda normal for a guy and girl to be bestfriends. I do have a best friend (another girl) and we hug a lot because she is american and very much likes to hug.
Obviously all this is based on my (and my friend's) experience with Japanese dating. I've never had a western guy do this, but I've had Jguys actually ask if they could hold my hand/kiss me etc. It seems weird to have a best friend of opposite sex that you just hand out with one on one. Then I also think it is normal to hang out in groups and date one on one...
It certainly does not speak for all Japanese people out there. before they do it (or say something like "I really wish I could hold your hand...") and want some kind of okay before they act on their feelings. i hang out with my japanese guy friend, only the two of us. My best friend is another girl and his best friend (besides me) is a guy. I meant some guys will insist to pay to show they are good providers and will make responsible husbands and can afford a wife/children.