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"How's it going honey," my mum said as I strolled through the living room. Mum looked quite funny slumped back on the sofa in her pink-and-black striped jumper and her hair slightly dishevelled. "It's called..." Lisa began, before trying to consult her memory. It tasted a bit funny but I immediately felt my head lighten a little, just with one gulp.Lisa still looked like the nerdish librarian she was, but she had a more relaxed look on her round face. Eager to get back to my mum and Lisa's increasingly rude conversation, I strolled back into the living room and poured big glasses of wine for them both."Don't mind me ladies," I declared, dismissively waving at them, "I'm just passing through." I saw that there was a movie on the television, whereby Hugh Grant was acting all nervous in front of a woman. "Not heard of that," shrugged Lisa, looking forlonly at her now empty wine glass. "There's a sex scene," promised my mum, causing me to flinch, as would any teenaged boy when his mother utterered the word 'sex'. " I asked my mum and Lisa, trying to change the subject from sex. "Then we talked about porn," Lisa began, " and your mum was wondering..." "You were wondering," my mum corrected her friend. " I asked, knowing the answer would be a bit rude but perversely wanting it confirmed.I went into the kitchen and hunted around the fridge. "We were wondering," Lisa restarted, and then she broke into giggles. "We wondered," Lisa began, pausing to look at my mum before returning her bespectacled gaze onto me, "if you.... " She giggled and slapped my mum's shoulder playfully. " "Lisa wants to know," mum said, "if you surf for porn on that computer you're so frequently glued to." My natural instinct was to deny this outrageous accusation, but I didn't because (a) it was true and (b) Lisa and mum were giggly and half-drunk and I kinda felt like getting into their mood and fooling around. "Some woman having about a dozen guys cum on her," I casually replied, barely able to accept that I was indulging in this conversation with my own mother. " my mum said, once again shocking me by her having knowledge of this term. " I asked, slightly amused at the naughty turn of the conversation and also eager to fit my role of the man-of-the-house, namely the provider of intoxicating liquors."Not a porn star though," I snickered, making my mum and Lisa giggle.When I usually got home after going out with my mates on a Saturday evening, Lisa had usually gone home and mum was usually watching TV or in bed; she may have had some wine but by then was usually just chilled out.I stopped by the fridge to grab a can of Coke, and picked up the corkscrew before heading back to the living room. " my mum was asking, still struggling with the DVD remote. I fired up the PC and figured I'd maybe wank off later.

Spontaneous hard-ons were a regular occurrence for me, as anyone who has ever been a teenaged boy can confirm. I was a good looking lad, I thought; five-foot-nine, short black hair, dark eyes like my mum's, and an athletic build.

I was on the school football and sprint teams and I was proud of having a decent physique.

As I stared into the mirror I took my T-shirt off and posed in my jeans, admiring my six-pack and lean but toned shoulders and arms.

Besides, like I said, the plump bespectacled spinster was almost like an Aunt. "Ooh, I forgot the corkscrew," Lisa said as she put the bottle of wine and the glasses on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Catch you later." "Are you sure you don't want to join your mum and I in watching some romantic movies? "I'll pass, but thanks," I grinned, cracking open the can of Coke, "Catch you later." I strolled out the room and into my bedroom.

"I'll get it," I said, helpfully, and I strolled into the kitchen. You usually go out with your friends on Saturdays." "Yeah, but not tonight. I contemplated jacking off when I got to my room and shut the door. But I elected against it as I'd bought a new game the other day, and I was dying to play it.

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