With a son or surrogate son, she could live out her life in the home of her adulthood, in the company of her child.
Murray quotes testimony recorded by René Gremaux: "Because if you get married I'll be left alone, but if you stay with me, I'll have a son." On hearing those words Djurdja [the daughter] "threw down her embroidery" and became a man.
After this, sworn virgins live as men and others relate to them as such, usually though not always they may dress in male clothing, use a male name, carry a gun, smoke, drink alcohol, take on male work, act as the head of a household (for example, living with a sister or mother), play music and sing, and sit and talk socially with men.
However, it is sometimes possible to take back the vows if the reasons or motivations or obligations to family which lead to taking the vow no longer exist.
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Dickemann suggests mothers may have played an important role in persuading children to become sworn virgins.
A widow without sons traditionally had few options in Albania: she could return to her birth family, stay on as a servant in the family of her deceased husband, or remarry.
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