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The word "kiddushin" comes from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin, meaning "sanctified." It reflects the sanctity of the marital relation.However, the root word also connotes something that is set aside for a specific (sacred) purpose, and the ritual of kiddushin sets aside the woman to be the wife of a particular man and no other.Nevertheless, the idea has a strong hold within the Jewish community: look at any listing of Jewish personal ads and you're bound to find someone "Looking for my bashert." Finding your bashert doesn't mean that your marriage will be trouble-free.Marriage, like everything worthwhile in life, requires dedication, effort and energy.Rather, the wife's acceptance of the money is a symbolic way of demonstrating her acceptance of the husband, just like acceptance of the contract or the sexual intercourse.To satisfy the requirements of acquisition by money, the ring must belong to the groom.
In all cases, the Talmud specifies that a woman can be acquired only with her consent, and not without it. As part of the wedding ceremony, the husband gives the wife a ketubah.
The word "bashert" can be used to refer to any kind of fortuitous good match, such as finding the perfect job or the perfect house, but it is usually used to refer to one's soul mate.
There are a number of statements in the Talmud that would seem to contradict the idea of bashert, most notably the many bits of advice on choosing a wife.
According to the Talmud, Rav Yehuda taught that 40 days before a male child is conceived, a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry, literally a match made in heaven!
In Yiddish, this perfect match is called "bashert," a word meaning fate or destiny.