What is validating
Level 5, normalizing, would not work because most people would agree his response was reasonable and not be upset in that situation.
There is nothing to make her response more understandable in terms of her history, so Level 4 is not possible. She quit because her boss loudly criticized her in front of other people.
"Sounds like you're disappointed in yourself because you didn't call him back," could be accurate reflection by someone else. Mindreading is guessing what another person might be feeling or thinking.
People vary in their ability to know their own feelings.
Being able to accurately label feelings is an important step to being able to regulate them.
For yourself, being mindful of your own emotion is the first step to accepting your emotion.For example, some confuse anxiety and excitement and some confuse excitement and happiness.Some may not be clear about what they are feeling because they weren't allowed to experience their feelings or learned to be afraid of their feelings.Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable. Multi-tasking while you listen to your teenager's story about his soccer game is not being present.Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Being present means giving all your attention to the person you are validating.