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I think my turn-ons are all very healthy and not particularly complicated – but I do find something awe-inspiring as well as alluring about older women: older women who are confident and assertive; who know what they want sexually and are unafraid to tell you – rather than expect you to psychically unravel their feminine mystique like some erotic code cracker.’ Another online friend, Big Dave, a forty-something in Dubai, feels the older women love too. *books flight to Dubai via Wales* John, 35, from Milton Keynes, is hearing this too. ‘I don’t believe all that tosh about Freud and mummy issues, and I never went to public school… Now I’m in my 40s, I find them interesting, more relaxed and more experienced in life, love, travel and sex. I also love them in leopard print – but that’s another story…’ Someone’s been looking in my wardrobe… And she agrees with me about the attraction of younger men. I’m also someone whose cultural reference points are “before my time”, so I find it surprisingly easy to find common cultural ground with older women. When you were young they were exciting, vibrant and a step into a world you didn’t know much about. Older men in relationships with much younger women? And we’re progressing from tweets to DMs, to the messaging app Telegram, to phone calls… (Not about the world imploding.) They are funny, intelligent men – there is no setting the dial low… Until you step into daylight and see their skin.’ My friend Michelle, 51, from London, is dating a 37-year-old man. ‘A woman who’s seen it all and cuts through the bullshit is far more interesting, open and intellectually stimulating to me. *throws phone at where my personal assistant would be sitting if I could afford to have one* I’m going to breathe and calm myself down. Now I’m no longer angry at being kept out of the loop, I’m THRILLED that 48-year-old Super Naomi is (rumoured to be) seeing 25-year-old popster Liam. (Thank you.) As the creator of the word WHIP (Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime – or Primark if times are tough), I applaud these ‘finger up at society’ age-gap relationships. He’s mature, experienced and powerful, and she’s firm, fertile and fuckable. For me, it’s Twitter, not Tinder (or indeed toyboywarehouse.com) where I’m meeting them. You’d think the dates would be excruciatingly awkward, with cultural references tumbleweeding. We talk about our work, about what we’ve been up to, about politics/the world imploding, and we laugh. There is something very attractive about women who have real life experience – and the perspective and lack of fucks left to give that that brings.
Dating an older man also means that there’s more than a modicum of stability and more than simply a “chance” for future talks and long-term commitment.‘Older women are less naïve and not into the braggadocious nature you have to display to get yourself noticed in the market place. Older women have attitude, are hot and are generally fabulous.’ Oh for God’s sake. ‘I guess there are people who fall in love with an older woman, and those whose kink is older women. They’re naïve and they want a more experienced woman?I don’t have that kink, but the only woman I’ve had strong feelings for in the last few years was an older woman. Or maybe they’re stuck on the stereotype of the cougar after watching American Pie and Stifler’s mum on repeat during their teenage awakening.